It's been a hard weekend, on Saturday morning, Kitty left us. I'm sure he is somewhere now chasing, and of course catching moths, without worrying about his legs hurting him anymore. He is jumping up onto anything and everything he sees! And I am sure that he has found someone to scratch his ears for him!
We tried to make the last few days he was here filled with all he loved. On Thursday he got cheese snacks.... On Friday I had tuna for lunch, just so that he could have the tuna juice, then I picked up a bit of cat grass from the pet store for him to nibble, he LOVED grass! He got treats when he looked up at me with those loving blue eyes... and for Friday and Saturday morning, he didn't have to eat the Rx cat food, he got just the fancy feast stuff that he liked. He had put up with the Diabetic diet for long enough.
We gave him lots of kisses and rubbed his ears and belly the way he liked... I made sure he had his rubber band to chew... Kitty loved rubber bands! When I worked in Twin I would come home with them on my wrist, on 'accident' so he had a fresh supply of them to chew through... I guess I stole office supplies for him :)
Despite trying to make him happy... and thinking I was ready for this... it still hurts me to realize he is gone. I keep expecting to see him come waddling down the hallway. Or hear his soft whisper of a meow when he wanted something... We went to rent movies this morning, and I expected to see him sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting for us when we returned.
Yesterday when 7pm rolled around I almost lost it completely... Kitty got his insulin injection twice a day, 7am and 7pm... I guess I don't have to worry about being home at those times everyday anymore. sigh.
It has never been a burden to take care of him, in fact, he has made me so much stronger! I used to hate needles! When the vet told us he had diabetes, I told Keith he would have to do all the injections... but then Kitty didn't mind them at all... so after just a few days of Keith giving him the medicine, I decided to 'gave it a try'. Nothing to worry about, it's easy! I need to not be scared of the unknown!
To anyone who has had to make the decision to put a pet down, I am sorry! I never knew... I had no idea how hard it would be... I am sure we made the right decision... but it doesn't help the pain. And to see Keith right now.... man... that hurts more.
I wrestle with the idea of 'playing god'. Do we really have the right to make this decision? In the end I suppose I decided yes we do. Kitty had a full 15 years here... July 9th 1994 was the birthday on his adoption papers... Kitty was only a kitten when he came into Keith's life... and it's been a good one... R.I.P Kitty... we miss you! (kisses on your head)
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